I took my two kids to a birthday party at a friend’s pool. When we got there, there were a lot of kids in the pool and an almost equal number of moms either in the pool or sitting alongside watching. Both my
kids jumped in and began playing. I admit I was a little distracted that day and my kids have gotten to a level where I feel comfortable not watching them like a hawk…maybe a little too comfortable.
As I was settling in I suddenly heard my daughter scream, “Help!” I looked over and she was in the deep end of the pool. Clearly, she had gone under and scrambled her way to the surface several times without
anyone seeing her and she’d finally called out. When I pulled her out she was hysterical. I held her and said nothing much except, “I’ve got you” for about 20 minutes while she sobbed.
She explained as she cried that she’d slipped into the deep end accidentally, had called to my friend,who hadn’t heard her and then finally screamed, “Help.” My daughter cried really, really hard, threw up on me and cried some more. I just listened, assured her I was here with her and let myself shake a little from the terror of what had almost happened.
Then as suddenly as the whole thing had started, she finished crying and asked if she could get back in the pool. She spent the rest of the afternoon having a great time without a trace of there ever having been a problem. It struck me that it is not the events in our lives that make things difficult, but having to hold in the hard feelings related to those events that cause us suffering.
~ Alaiya Aguilar, Parenting by Connection Instructor. Join Alaiya in her upcoming teleseminar, “Play Group Politics — Helping Children Play Well Together”