Not Liking Her Father’s New Partner

I told my daughter that another parent from her school would be taking her into school that day because we carpool. She was upset and cranky about it for 45 minutes, and wanted me to take her instead. I held the limit and told her that the other parent would take her in that day and I would take her in tomorrow. A few minutes before the other parent arrived, she started crying, and told me how upset she is about having a “stepmother.”

She cried and said she never wanted her dad and I to separate, she never wanted a stepmom, that she’s never liked her, and she wants to live just with her dad and brother again at her dad’s house. I’d never heard these feelings before, and didn’t even know she had them. I share my feelings about this with a listening partner, which helps me to support my children’s dad when he has feelings about our daughter not liking his partner. All of this opened up a conversation between my daughter and her dad about why we separated, and how she feels about his new partner. She seems more settled about it now.

Sandra Flear, Certified Parenting by Connection Instructor

Keiko Sato-Perry

Join Sandra in her upcoming Building Emotional Understanding online class starting April 23.  Register now!

Listen to this 3-minute audio clip, in which Sandra describes how you can help your listening partner release emotions.

You can read more of Sandra’s stories here and learn more about Parenting by Connection in the Listening to Children booklet set.

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